How adults communicate with each other and what it means to set healthy boundaries

When you think about setting boundaries, what comes to mind? Does your mind automatically go to yelling, getting upset, giving the silent treatment?

Setting boundaries may be the simplest, yet most difficult thing to accomplish. It is simple in that if you are in tune with your feelings and recognize your limits, then preserving your boundaries comes easier. However, the challenge is in knowing how to set boundaries and communicate them with other adults. In the Daddy Squared Podcast, SignShine owner and transformational empowerment leader, Etel Leit, discusses how adults communicate with each other and what it means to set boundaries.

How do we communicate?

Let’s for a second think about how we communicate. In every relationship, you should consider whether you and your partner are right-brained or left-brained. Here’s a quick test that you can use to see which one you are based on what description you identify most with:

Left Brain vs. Right Brain Characteristics

• Left Brain – logical, pragmatic, analytical
• Right Brain – creative, artistic, outside-the-box

Which one sounds more like you? Whichever one you identify most with is the side of your brain that is most dominant. Now some important questions are: What is my partner? What are my kids? Knowing which side of their brain is most dominant is important because this is how they solve problems. It doesn’t mean we are not using both sides, but it does mean that we lead with those characteristics when making decisions and coming to understandings.

Setting Boundaries

With her extensive background in psychology and years of experience as a life coach, Leit preaches that boundaries are not for other people, they are for yourself. Therefore, it is mutually important to understand how you can best realize and communicate your limits. Knowing when “enough is enough” is the first step… But being able to articulate your feelings and stay true to where your boundaries lie will make the most meaningful difference. This is why it is so important to understand your stance, how you can get the people you love to be receptive to what you are saying, and how to settle agreements and disagreements with other adults.  Say what you mean, mean what you say and don’t say it mean.

When you set boundaries – they are for you!

Many people set boundaries which they cannot even hold, and sometimes this is the main issue. For example: “if you drink again, I will leave you!” This is a harsh boundary which is hard to follow, unless you really mean it. Think about the boundary you are setting, because you will need to follow it, otherwise, now one will take you seriously, not even yourself.

You don’t have to do it alone

This blog post is by no means comprehensive of the work that it takes to start setting boundaries and communicating better with friends and family. Much of the work needed to be done comes from diving into big life questions and tackling unnecessary hesitations. With the help of a transformational empowerment leader, you can transform your life and achieve your true goals! Join Etel for deep, interactive and powerful evenings that will be sure to change the way you view yourself and communicate forever.