Let’s Get Specific

We all love compliments. A “Good job!” or an “Atta-boy!” every now and then. And let’s be honest, we can give them out more often. Did you know a person who feels appreciated is likely to work harder than a person who doesn’t? Your little one feels the same way. Praise is important. Some of us, most of us, are still trying to please our parents! ; )

But in all seriousness, how can you give the best feedback to your little one?

Do you want to give praise that goes the furthest and deepest into your little one’s heart and generates fruit in their life? I know I do.

Recently the parent-sphere is a buzz with research on the “right” type of compliments. Here are some guidelines to help you do just that!

Be Specific: Yes, “good jobs” and “atta-boys” are nice to hear, but often go unnoticed over time, unless they are specific. Practice saying “You said thank you!” “Nice work on your painting, I can see the use of your favorite color.” It may take an extra second to get specific, but the praise will go further and reinforce the behavior that is positive.

Comment on the Activity: Commenting on the process and behavior lets your child know how to measure for themselves how they did/do. It can be tempting to say “you are so smart, you got the right answer,” or “you are so smart; you did such a good job,” but these comments can lead to a pressure of doing great again, and risk confusion in knowing HOW to do well again. But commenting on the activity will help your little one measure for him/herself and gain a sense of pride that will last.

Encourage Attempts: Progress not perfection is what this guideline references. It may take your child time to read a page, or find the opening to fit the block through, but make a comment on the perseverance and attempts. It isn’t how fast they complete an activity, it’s the dedication and commitment to follow through and work hard that leads to successful adults.

Don’t worry about getting it right, for you or for your child. Be specific, comment on the activity, and encourage attempts. Your child will appreciate it.