It is finally time to return to normalcy as schools and stores begin to reopen slowly. Relief fills the air as more people start to get vaccinated, and states gradually begin to lift shelter in place orders and regulations. Your children are excited as they can finally meet with their friends at school and go on playdates. On social media, your friends and family are starting to plan vacations and sharing the thrilling events they have set up for themselves. But to your surprise, you feel anxious and nervous about all this change, especially since your child will have to return to school. It is hard to admit, but you even feel a little blue.
You begin to reflect on all of the delightful moments you shared with your child. You start to laugh as you remember the first time you had to help your child set up their zoom account. Your child would giggle at you as you struggled and joked about your technical skill. As a family, you have grown closer due to the stressfulness of the pandemic, and leaving these newfound bonds is freighting. You have become comfortable and feel safer knowing that your children and family are by your side during these unprecedented times.
It is time to go to school; it almost feels like their first day in kindergarten or first grade. Everyone is excited, and you even take a few pictures for the family album. As it’s time for you to say goodbye, it is not them who feel a bit sad; this time, it is you! You feel guilty for leaving them to head to work. You miss those incredible moments at home, and you want to go back to the way it was before, even for just a few days. “It cannot be,” you think to yourself, “I was waiting to this moment for such a long time!”. For over a year, you got to spend time with your child and see their faces when you took a break from working next door.
With the relief of going back to reality, you miss your kids, worry about what they do, wanting to bond with them – you are probably experiencing separation anxiety, especially after a long year of spending quality time together. This is expected as many parents started to become comfortable and felt safe spending time with their children. But now, the time for transition to regular life has come, and you may be left needing some coping strategies.
That is why I prepared for you 4 major coping skills you will want to implement right now so you and your child can maintain a healthy relationship during this adjustment period. Two researchers named Matha Pelaez and Gary Novack have provided information for parents on how to handle their separation anxiety as the pandemic comes to an end. Both of these developmental psychologists have written books on child and adolescent development and researched the family system. Pelaez and Novack have an extensive background in this subject, and they also touch on why parent separation is a paramount issue of concern.
3 Profound Transitions hit every household during the Pandemic:
- Families have formed stronger attachment bonds.
- The pandemic orders have caused stress in the household and have resulted in feelings of uncertainness.
- Stronger dependencies have formed between family members due to social distancing.
4 Effective Tools that will Help Parents Handle the Transition Out of the Pandemic
True to be told is that if your child is calm and safe, you will feel calmer. Here are a few anecdotes on how to create a safe environment for your child and for you, not only physically but mentally and spiritually.
1. Open Conversation: Have an open conversation with your family about going back to a pre-pandemic routine. Remember communicating is critical, so if you have worries about your child’s safety, get in touch with school or health staff that can answer your questions ahead of time. Make a list of questions before the first drop off to school occurs to minimize any apprehension. Pelaez and Novack emphasized this because being prepared aware of the situation before time can lead to a smooth transition and more tactics to handle challenges that may arise.
2. Old-New Routines: Prepare a written routine (for younger children it can be in pictures) to remind them how is it to go back to school. Get your children involved in preparing the old-new routine. For example….
3. We Are Safe: Each time those anxiety-provoking thoughts come up, you can extinguish them by remembering that your child is safe and the school follows a strict protocol.
4. Fun Family Activity: Plan an exciting activity that could be planned to help your child and yourself cope with the stress of the transition. For example, have a themed dinner night or go for a beautiful hike over the weekend to unwind. This is a great time to strengthen your bond with your child and remind them that you are all in this together!
It is vital to remember you are not alone. Many parents are facing the same stress and anxieties that you are. Remember, this is a difficult time for everyone around the world. Being aware of your behavior and continue to do mental check-ins. Never feel ashamed to ask for help from a professional.
I am so proud of every parent and all the hard work you have put in to ensure that your child’s well-being is taken care of. This is a new era and new transition for all, for your child, your family, your friends and your community. With awareness and unconditional self-love this transition will be smooth and easy for all.