Have you heard of thelove languages? According to Gary Chapman there are 5 of them: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. The idea behind them is that we all give and receive love in different ways. The thing is we tend to give love in the manner in which we receive it best. But the conundrum is that often times our efforts may not have their desired effect of making someone, we care about, FEEL loved. When we feel something, it sticks. Perhaps there is a better way to ensure those we care about feel loved. The love languages has taught me a great deal about myself and those around me.
A dear friend of mine recently said, that she felt a sense of relief after studying the love languages because for so long she thought her mother didn’t love her, but now realized her mother had shown her love in services and she felt more loved by physical touch.
Can you imagine if her mother knew?! It would probably break her heart. If she had known, I am sure she would have made a concerted effort to show her daughter love with more hugs and cuddles!
Can you see the connection with your child?
A child who has his or her needs met, has the foundation required to reach the highest aims of his or her heart. Love is one of the basic needs of each human. You can more effectively meet your child’s need by knowing how they best receive love. And as a bonus- knowing how different people best receive love can give you insight into discord bet
ween friends and family members, including yourself.
Knowing your child’s love language can also help you settle disputes between brothers, sisters, and friends. If you can see why one person feels disregarded, unheard, or not considered and ultimately, unloved, you can meet that need for love, and both parties can move through resolution more thoroughly. And sometimes the conflict can be avoided entirely!
– Know your child’s love language: This siteoffers a free test your child can take or a test you can take with your child in mind. You can even read the questions to them, depending of his or her age. The quiz makes it fun by looking at the quiz as solving a mystery! This site is mostly for adults, though the principles are similar. We all speak each love language, but we are each more fluent in certain ones. Download the PDF version and complete the test with your little one. The information is invaluable!
– Fill their LOVE tank: Once you know what your child’s top two love languages are, set a date once a week to fill up their love tank. If it’s Words of Affirmation small notes in your child’s lunch box will go a long way. Acts of Service: a special snack in your child’s lunch box will do the trick. Receiving Gifts: perhaps you buy an extra bunch of blueberries just for them or a small toy in the grocery line. Quality Time: have a date afternoon or night just the two of you. Physical Touch: just a few intentional moments of hugs and kisses will go a long way in meeting your little one’s need.
– Give them language for their feelings: Another side benefit is in time your little one will have the language for self care. Ensuring that he or she can ask for quality time or a hug when he or she is upset. This lends itself to emotional intelligence and the confidence that comes with feeling heard and loved!
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Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.